Forget the Virtual Pint - it's piss. What YOU need is an unlimited supply of 'Class A' Virtual Narcotics.
Be the envy of the in-crowd. Get ejected from nightclubs. Shock and amaze your so-called friends. Get oral sex from Z-list celebrities.
Introducing The iSnort - an ultra-edgy 'Simulated Smart Phone Application'.
Go on.. give it a toot... it's virtually addictive. Download The iSnort v0.1 now for £5 - all future versions and updates are included in this one-off subscription.
Disclaimer: The makers of The iSnort accept no responsibility if you end up in the iClink, getting iBummed in the iShowers when you bend down for the iSoap.
For enquiries contact: firstname.lastname@example.org